How Can We Be Love In Action?

Today was Matt’s first day of school. Kate and Gavin have another week or so before they start. To my surprise they both woke up early to be able to send Matt off to school this morning.

Trust me when I say we have many messy moments in our home but this morning I saw a beautiful moment, I saw love in action as Kate and Gav chose Matt over sleep, not an easy thing for a teen to choose.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we look at those around us and ask ourselves how we can be love in action for someone who needs it today. And like teens sacrificing sleep to show up for their brother, may we recognize that being love in action may cost us something, but often it will be worth it

With love and hope,

Shawn

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…let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18

Dear Kids and Teens

Dear Kids and Teens,

As you step into this new year, no matter your age, we want to remind you that we love you no matter how this year unfolds. You see our love for you is not based on your performance, on the outcome of your tests, or where you rank in your class. Our love for you is founded on seeing you as the unique person God made you to be and our hope is to encourage you this year to grow more and more into that person, as you refine your gifts and skills.

Please know we don’t expect you to be great at every subject and activity because that would be unrealistic of us. We are not great at everything ourselves so why would we expect that of you? The idea of being perfect is crippling so let’s promise to be two imperfect people who will make a commitment to do our best this year; you in school and me walking beside you through whatever happens. And when we fall short, which will happen for both of us, may we practice forgiveness and try again.

Also, just in case you forgot or don’t know yet, there are different types of smarts; some of us are more intellectually smart, others more kinethestically smart, others are more people smart, etc. We ask that you continue refine the areas that you’re naturally smart at and do your best in the areas that challenge you. And when you are challenged, please be willing to ask for help. Being able to do this is a strength, not a weakness. And know I will do the same. Let’s both commit to show up every day and give our best, support others around us to help them do their best, and have fun along the way as we do this. We know some days “your best” will look different, as does ours. May we take time to learn from the hard days, celebrate the good ones and remember we are all works in progress.

Please let us know how we can support you this year. Also, know when we support your teacher, it doesn’t mean we don’t support you. We are a team working together to help you learn and grow.

And always remember, you are loved for who you are, not for what you achieve. You are not a number but a child of God who was made with a purpose. Stay close to God, keep practicing the gifts and skills he’s given you, be willing to be refined where you are challenged and walk with your head up, knowing you are seen, heard and loved and God has plans for you this year, and beyond.

I love you and believe in you. May you go into this year loving and believing in yourself too.

With love and hope,

Your parent

Lay Down the Ladder

I took this picture years ago and I come back to it so often in my mind as a reminder to lay down the ladder.

What do I mean?

Often in life we unintentionally place people in an invisible ladder, tiering some above us and some below us. Maybe you haven’t, but I admittedly have. Doing this has never benefitted me, for when I put people above me I end up thinking less of myself and if I’ve tiered people below me, I’ve negated their true worth and value and put myself on a pedestal of pride, which is never wise to do.

You see, the more I learn about God, I see that He doesn’t have a ladder tiering us as people, one better or worse than another. I don’t believe He has a ladder at all but if He did have a ladder I wholeheartedly believe it would be laid down like this, placing each person beside one another. He sees each of us for who we He made us to be, and loves and values us as the individuals we are.

As I follow God, my aim in my days is to do my best to follow His lead and not place anyone above me, or below me, but see others as someone who is beside me in this life. I heard someone once say, “We are all children of God, He doesn’t have grandchildren.” This idea struck my heart and reminded me of my position in life, to be beside others.

I share this with you today as it’s on my heart, and to invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

If you too have placed others on a ladder, above or beneath you, or others have placed you on one, may we lay down the invisible ladder we, or society, has created. May we instead place ourselves beside one another. May we pray to see one another as God sees us and honor one another and build each other up into the people He made us to be.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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1 Thessalonians 5:11

Pray for Others

Today we were having lunch outdoors at a restaurant when a man, who I presume was homeless, came by our table. He asked Matt who his Mom was and Matt pointed to me. The man, who held flowers one hand and flowers and a bottle of alcohol in the other, came over to me and handed me these flowers. I said, “thank you” and he started saying the Marine Corps motto, “Semper Fi.” When he was finished I thanked him for his service and he came over and gave me a fist bump. I said, “God bless you” and he stopped for a moment and his face looked grateful. He said, “yes, please pray for me,” followed by a quick story about his wounds from his time of service. I told him I would pray for him and before I could say more he was on his way with the other flowers and bottle of alcohol in his hands.

I share this with you because this man simply gave me flowers today and he asked for nothing in return but prayer. How beautiful is that?

A dear friend just said to me yesterday, “A burden shared is divided and a joy shared is multiplied.”

And so I share the joy of this man’s actions in hopes it inspires more of us to do selfless acts of love with nothing behind them but to make someone else smile. Also, I share this with you to invite you to…

pause. breathe. pray.

And to join me in praying for this generous wounded veteran who is did this random act of love today. May we pray for his healing, inside and out, and that a path back to solid ground is made for him, and that he take it. And while we are at it, may we also pray for all veterans, that their visible and invisible wounds be healed, and for all those who are doing their part to help veterans in their healing.

With gratitude and hope,

Shawn

Best Way to Start the Day

My favorite way to start each day!

Be Honest with Yourself, and Others

One day this week our kids and I had a picnic at one of our favorite places. While we were there some of us took pictures, others drew or painted. Moments here with my family are some of my favorites, as we grow still in the beauty of nature, we talk or sit in comfortable silence, and we make memories that fuel our souls.

As lovely as moments like these are, it’s still messy.

Ants crawl over our legs while we eat, crab apples fall on us, paint ends up in places it doesn’t belong, unnecessary bickering happens, etc.

I share this because as beautiful as life is, the truth is, it is messy too. And to be transparent, I’ve been having random messy days for a while now. Not every day, but I have random days scattered into my weeks where anxiety and depression call my name. Simple tasks feel like I’m moving boulders, self talk is nothing I would ever say to another soul, and the love coming my way is blocked by an unseen barrier I pray goes away whenever it happens.

I don’t share this for pity but to be real with you, as I know I’m not the only one who has these struggles. I want to write and share my heart yet I’ve expected myself to always have something encouraging to say when the reality is, some days I am just trying to show up for myself and my family and I don’t have capacity for more than that.

I even struggle writing this after the good news I received last week because all is well with me physically…yet the truth be told, mentally I have these random days when I am not well.

If you don’t know what I mean, I thank God for that and pray you never understand. If you know what I am talking about, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we be willing to admit to ourselves when we are not well within. May this truth not shame us but be a stepping stone to our healing. May we be willing to share our hearts with someone, even though it may be like trudging through mud to do so. And may we trust that God is our helper and will lift us up out of the pit and put us back on solid ground again and again and again until we stay there. Let’s hold on to hope and reach out for help when we need it. May we give thanks for the good days we experience and be willing to acknowledge the messy. The messy is not who we are or how God wants us to live but there are so many things that fuel the messy. May we be intentional and directional to fight this battle for our minds with every resource we have, especially with God. I know He is good and will help us win the battle. He has helped and guided me through this time and time again, and I wholeheartedly trust He will do the same for you too. I pray each day that the beauty in life is more potent than the messy for us, like it was that day having a picnic in the park with my kids.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. - Philippians 4:8

Palms Up

Yesterday was my scan day in Boston. As I laid & prayed on the mri table, I held the call button in my left hand & extended my right arm out on the table with my palm up. I have done this at every scan over the past five years, & did it as well during my treatments five years ago.

Why do I do this?

In God’s word, it is written, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand & says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” - Isaiah 41:13

When I lay down, I don’t know what the outcome of the scan will be. Will the cancer be back or will I get more time to live cancer free?

To help me fight through the unknown, I open my right hand & picture Jesus in the room with me holding my hand, reminding me I am never alone in this journey, or any other.

As I sat in the room waiting my my doctor to give me the results, I sat there heart thumping yet with my palms up again. “For better is one handful of tranquility that two hands grasping at the wind.” I repeatedly shared my hearts desires with God but also trusted Him no matter the outcome.

When the doctor came in & shared the scans looked good a wave of gratitude washed over me.

(I know not everyone gets the same results so may we keep those who scans aren’t clear in our prayers)

I am sharing this today for anyone walking in the unknown of any kind. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Even when we may physically be alone, may we remember we are never alone. May we open our right hand as an invitation for Jesus to hold our hand and join us on the journey. He wants to help us but will never force his presence upon us. He’s the gracious friend waiting beside us, loving us, respecting us where we are, and will be there for us anytime, any day, in every way.

I know this is a little out there to picture Jesus sitting beside us. I share this as someone who didn’t really believe in God over a decade ago. Yet as someone who gave Him a chance & invited Him in, I can say, His love & Word are transformational & have helped me over & over & over again- & I wholeheartedly believe the same will be true for you too.

Palms up.

With love & hope,

Shawn

Experience the Simple Joys

His joy is contagious.

This week I’ve been a bit paralyzed by the unknown as my scans are on the horizon. Yet when I watch Matt ride the waves with joy, I am reminded that God doesn’t want me to be paralyzed in the fear of the unknown but wants me to experience the joy the day has, even in the wait.

So yesterday I got off my chair and grabbed a boogie board and had a blast with our family in the water.

I share this today to say to the person who is stuck in the fear of an unknown right now, or is going through a hard season, I get it. Sometimes I stay stuck and other times I’m able to break free and live.

If you can relate, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we ask God to help us keep our eyes fixed on Him, above the waves of the unknown. When we are able to do this, there is a freedom within to live the day more fully. God will help us trust Him with our circumstances and give us the fruits of joy and peace, in place of the fear and unknown, that will allow us to experience the simple joys in life, like I was able to do with my family yesterday, and pray to be able to do again today. And I pray the same for you too.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

- Romans 15:13

Set Realistic Goals

Gav and I have been going to the batting cages a bunch this summer. He was focused the other day on getting 10 out of 10 in one of the drills he was doing.

He was getting close but would miss one and then start again. We had to leave the cages to go to an appointment so I lowered the goal for time sake. He was still determined to get 10 out of 10.

I heard myself say, “focus on progress, not perfection.”

Have you ever said something to your child, or someone else, and you realize the message is for you too?

After saying those words I felt like God whispered to my heart, “practice that yourself too.”

Admittedly I am a perfectionist. Not in that my house or car are clean, because they are often, especially my car, a disaster. But I expect a lot out of myself each day and when I don’t meet my goals, like Gavin, I am hard on myself.

Can you relate? If so, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we stop trying to be perfect and set realistic goals for ourselves. Stephen always reminds me to say what I did do that day rather than focusing on what I didn’t accomplish. And like I did with Gavin, may we set realistic goals for our timeframe so when we walk away we have gratitude for the progress we made rather than beating ourselves up mentally for not being perfect.

God says in his word to practice his word, not perfect it, so if God isn’t expecting perfection from us, why are we?

With love and hope,

Shawn

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Put into practice what you learned and received from me, both from my words and from my actions. And the God who gives us peace will be with you.

- Philippians 4:9

Breaking Open

In my heart I love to garden but my practice of gardening hasn’t always been successful. This year I tried going smaller and have had more success, with the exception of deer getting to some of plants.

Whenever I go out to water or harvest, I am amazed at how all of this started from a seed. Recently I read something that intrigued me, how falling apart is different from breaking open.

When something falls apart, it breaks into pieces yet when something breaks open, something new is bound to grow.

If a seed is in pieces, it won’t grow but if it breaks open, look at what happens.

And the same principle holds true for me, and you.

If you ever have felt like you’re falling apart, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

When we are in moments where we feel like we are falling apart, may we shift our words. Instead of thinking like nothing will get better may we consider saying, “I am breaking open for something new to grow,” and invite God into the brokenness. May we trust He will help something new grow in His time, as He did here with a seed.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19