One day this week our kids and I had a picnic at one of our favorite places. While we were there some of us took pictures, others drew or painted. Moments here with my family are some of my favorites, as we grow still in the beauty of nature, we talk or sit in comfortable silence, and we make memories that fuel our souls.
As lovely as moments like these are, it’s still messy.
Ants crawl over our legs while we eat, crab apples fall on us, paint ends up in places it doesn’t belong, unnecessary bickering happens, etc.
I share this because as beautiful as life is, the truth is, it is messy too. And to be transparent, I’ve been having random messy days for a while now. Not every day, but I have random days scattered into my weeks where anxiety and depression call my name. Simple tasks feel like I’m moving boulders, self talk is nothing I would ever say to another soul, and the love coming my way is blocked by an unseen barrier I pray goes away whenever it happens.
I don’t share this for pity but to be real with you, as I know I’m not the only one who has these struggles. I want to write and share my heart yet I’ve expected myself to always have something encouraging to say when the reality is, some days I am just trying to show up for myself and my family and I don’t have capacity for more than that.
I even struggle writing this after the good news I received last week because all is well with me physically…yet the truth be told, mentally I have these random days when I am not well.
If you don’t know what I mean, I thank God for that and pray you never understand. If you know what I am talking about, I invite you to join me to…
pause. breathe. pray.
May we be willing to admit to ourselves when we are not well within. May this truth not shame us but be a stepping stone to our healing. May we be willing to share our hearts with someone, even though it may be like trudging through mud to do so. And may we trust that God is our helper and will lift us up out of the pit and put us back on solid ground again and again and again until we stay there. Let’s hold on to hope and reach out for help when we need it. May we give thanks for the good days we experience and be willing to acknowledge the messy. The messy is not who we are or how God wants us to live but there are so many things that fuel the messy. May we be intentional and directional to fight this battle for our minds with every resource we have, especially with God. I know He is good and will help us win the battle. He has helped and guided me through this time and time again, and I wholeheartedly trust He will do the same for you too. I pray each day that the beauty in life is more potent than the messy for us, like it was that day having a picnic in the park with my kids.
With love and hope,
Shawn
.
.
.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. - Philippians 4:8