Three years ago today Stephen and I sat on these chairs. We were on our first trip to Nashville and enjoying a drink together on our last night.
What we didn’t know at the time, was that the trip was a gift, the calm before a storm in life, and that that drink would be my last. The day after we got back from this trip is when the doctor found my tumor. I was determined to attack cancer from every angle, which for me included no longer having alcohol.
I wasn’t much of a drinker to begin with but I’d have one here and there. After making this choice three years ago, I have not invited alcohol back into my life.
Why?
Because what I’ve recognized is the only time I have considered having a drink over the past three years is when I am overwhelmed with life’s circumstances.
For example, this summer when I thought the cancer may be back, and I had a couple of other extra life layers that were heavy on my heart, I found myself wanting a drink.
I realized that if I chose to have a drink, it would be to escape reality. Yet that same reality would be there for me after the drink, so having the drink wasn’t the solution. The one thing that I have found to turn to that actually helps lighten the heavy is to pause. breathe. pray.
Also, just as I noticed with my walk with cancer, my kids are watching me and how I respond to life’s challenges. And if it’s true that our children are more likely to do as we do, and not as we say, then my hope is to have them see me pray when life circumstances overwhelm me, and not me turning towards a substance; in hopes they may make a similar choice one day.
I am choosing to share my story today in case any of you can relate to what I have witnessed about myself over these three years, and you too are tempted to turn to a drink when the layers of life feel too heavy.
I invite you to join me, and the next time you are overwhelmed by life's circumstances and you have the desire to turn to a substance, like alcohol, to lighten the load, rather than reaching for it, consider...
pausing. breathing. praying.
And not pick it up. Instead, I invite you to sit with me in the heaviness and patiently persevere through it. May we be courageous and invite others in to help and support us through it as well. I know this isn’t the easier choice in the moment, but I have found it is the choice that leads to greater freedom within, in the long term.
Please know I am not here to judge any of your choices. I am simply sharing my story to show another path is available, other than turning to a substance, as an option to handle life’s heaviness.
May we recognize that life will have its challenges. In the heavier times, and in the lighter times too, may the choices we make lead us onto solid ground. Yes, the best choices for us may be the hardest ones to make in the moment, but may we create a support system around us to help us and trust the long term freedom we can have is worth the short term struggle💕🙏💕
With love and hope,
Shawn
PS If you think you may be addicted to alcohol, or another substance, please hold on to hope and reach out for help to those you love and/or to places like SAMHSA’s National helpline at 18006624357. Also, there are sobriety coaches like my friend Laura Ward Coaching who have walked the walk and are on the other side helping others stay sober. It is humbling and hard to ask for help yet if you know you need help, please take that first bold step towards your healing. With love and hope, Shawn