Friday was scan day for me. I am grateful to share that all is well, thank God! As I have shared before, some of my scan days I am fighting off anxiety, and other days, like Friday, I have a peace that’s beyond understanding. I am able to lay, pray and rest trusting God with whatever the outcome is. This is the MRI machine I was in on Friday. It’s a unique one because when you open your eyes it has a mirror that reflects a video image that’s on the wall behind you. It is meant to make you feel as though you are not enclosed in the machine. Usually I close my eyes yet on Friday at one point I opened them. When I did there was a video playing of the ocean.
The video showed a fish that looked like an oversized stingray with a little fish swimming under its belly. I immediately thought how the little fish was me and the stingray was like God, covering and protecting me. Yet as I looked at the fish more closely, I asked myself, is the little fish swimming to find cover under the stingray or is the stingray swimming to keep the little fish covered?
When the video continued the next shot was of the little fish upside down having somehow attached itself under the stingray. It laid there at rest is was guarded and protected as the stingray took it for a journey.
After seeing those two videos, it made me realize how often I am the little fish in the first video, going on my way, doing life and God is following me trying to keep me under his cover and care.
Yet as I laid there on the MRI table I realized why I had rest in my soul. It was because I had attach myself fully to God that day and trusted God, no matter the outcome.
I share this with you today for whatever journey you are on. If you are like me, most of the time trying to get through things on your own strength, I invite you to join me to…
pause. breathe. pray.
May we be like the little fish who attached itself to the large stingray who was able to have rest on the journey. One of the gifts of a relationship with God is when we truly are able to trust him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, we can receive rest within, even while on a crazy journey, like waiting for test results.
I would not share this if I didn’t experience it myself and know it is possible. I won’t pretend I stay in this space all the time, yet having experienced it again during these scans was a reminder to stop trying to do life on my own and to wholeheartedly trust God, with the big and little things we face everyday.
With love and hope,
Shawn
PS What made the moment even more beautiful was the song that was being played at the time I saw this video is called “Hold On To Me” by Lauren Daigle
“God is my refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble…” - Psalm 46:1