Today is the anniversary of my maxillectomy surgery.
Reflecting back to that morning, the fear that gripped my heart was palpable. I was up before dawn, and with tear stained eyes I made a video for my children saying hello, that I love them and that I'd see them soon.
The truth behind the video was that I feared not being there for them in the future. With my earbuds in, we drove over to Mass Eye and Ear where I just sat praying and listening to my calming music with songs like Trust in You by Lauren Daigle.
Once I was called in, I told Stephen to mark down every person who helped us. From the nurse who walked us back, Kathy O'Brien who hung my fluids bag before surgery, etc. Every person that crossed our path I watched how their part, though not as big as my surgeons, was needed for my surgery to be a success.
I watched and witnessed trying to focus on the good happening around me until my anesthesiologist gave me a pill that made me feel a little drowsy. I held Stephen's hand tight until I had to go. As I was wheeled away from my guy, I prayed my heart out into that surgery room. As I lay there I asked if everyone could come around me so I could give thanks for them before the surgery.
The medicine kicked in more and more and I have no idea if I ended up saying anything. What I do know is that in my ear, a beautiful voice whispered, God loves you. Jesus loves you. God is with you. Jesus is with you.
And I drifted off to sleep to the sound of her calming, reassuring voice and truth being spoken into my heart.
I share this with you because God showed me on that challenging day that He was with me. He placed a resident from Europe in my surgery room that day to whisper those words into my ear as I drifted off to sleep.
I share this with you because I know God is with you today beside you on your path too. In that surgery room, God spoke into my heart truth in a language that resonated with me. I wholeheartedly believe He too has placed people beside you on your path, to calm and encourage you. The words they speak I believe will be ones that resonate with your heart.
I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
I am not unique. God is speaking into our hearts everyday. Yours included. Some circumstances, like laying on a hospital bed waiting for surgery, may open our ears a little more. Yet I know sitting here in my den this morning He seeks to speak into my heart too.
I offer to you to consider wherever you are today, and wherever you go, consider that God is placing people beside you to speak truth and love into your heart, to calm and encourage you for your journey, to let you know you are not alone.
There is no greater comfort I receive than knowing God is beside me on this journey in life and is placing people along my path to remind me of that. And I wholeheartedly believe, He is with you, and doing the same for you too.
With love and hope
Shawn
"Do not fear for I am with you, I will strengthen you and help you." - Isaiah 41:10