I’ve been sick this week and in my head. One of the things I struggle when I am not feeling well is that sickness to me equates to possibly cancer. I know it’s not a rational, logical thought but it’s a real one I deal with. One of my doctors said it best when he told me “you lost your innocence to be able to go to the doctor and anticipate only good results.”

This week my body was exhausted and I’ve been coughing, and the story “are my lungs okay?” is one I play in my head because of my history with ACC. I am tired of allowing a simple cold to have me snowball into fearful thoughts.

This is one of the reasons running has been good for me - although I did rest from running this week. There are physical aches that come with running and they aren’t cancer. And colds do not mean cancer either.

I know this logically, yet to make this my reality every time is still a practice for me.

I am healthy. I am well. My prayer is to live with my faith greater than my fear. And most days I do. Yet this week there was a battle for my mind.

I am sharing this not for pity but for the other survivors who deal with these real thoughts too. You are not alone. I invite you to join me too…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we remember that not every thought we have is true. May we continuously remind ourselves we are healthy, we are well, and we are cancer free. And may God give us the gift of releasing us from this fear so that our faith and trust in Him are the root of our thoughts today, and moving forward. May He give us this freedom within so that we live in the lightness of His love, and not the darkness of fear, and live more freely and fully in our days.

With love and hope,
Shawn