How to Overcome Temptation

The other day my sweet mom dropped off cupcakes and 13-egg cookies, a friend gave me chocolates and our neighbor dropped off her annual delivery of Christmas peanut butter balls. Needless to say I ate a few things that day that I normally wouldn't eat. When I went to bed that night I told Stephen I wasn't going to have any more Christmas cookies/sweets. I am not sure that statement was realistic yet I do know certain choices will leave me with regret and other choices will leave me with more peace within.

The day after I told Stephen that, I was thinking about a quote I love:

"Just because everything is available, does not mean it is beneficial."
- Andy Stanley


This truth is applicable in so many areas of our lives. And that day this quote was a reminder to me that just because these extra sweets are available to me in this season, doesn't mean they are beneficial for me.

What is available to you that you know isn't beneficial for you?

I was in the kitchen that day and I saw the last peanut butter ball on the counter...and instead of walking away, I rationalized that if I ate it, then they would be gone and I wouldn't be tempted anymore. So I ate the last peanut butter ball.

Can you relate in some way? You say you aren't going to do something again, and you find yourself doing it again soon after?

This my friend is temptation.

Temptation is real in our lives, and not just with cookies. There is so much temptation around us everyday. And a root of our discontentment can be giving into temptations, like it was for me that night in ned. 

The thing is often it's easier to give in. The path to temptation is clear. Choosing to practice self-control and be willing to turn from the temptations that don't benefit us is more challenging.  And the reality is, trying to conquer it on our own strength will lead us to often fall short, but with God, His Spirit is willing and able to give us what we need to resist the temptations.

There is a powerful verse about temptation that I love to meditate on. I don't always remember to lean into this verse in the moment - obviously - but when I do remember, it truly helps shift my focus from the temptation to a new path.  The verse is 1 Corinthians 10:13,

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 

This verse is a reminder to me, and you, that we are all tempted, whether its by food, technology, money, gossip, power, or other desires. Yet this scripture tells us that God is faithful and will provide us a way out.  Isn't that encouraging?!

Yet to know what we need to turn from it's important we identify our temptations. Let's take a moment to answer these two questions:

1. What are the top 1-3 temptations in my life?

2. When I am tempted, am I seeking a way out, or do I create an excuse to give into the temptation (like I did with the peanut butter ball that day)?

After taking time to answer those, I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.™

We live in a world where temptation is around every corner as so much is available to us. Yet that does not mean what is available is beneficial to our wellbeing; our mind, body, soul, our relationships, etc. Let's ask God to prompt us within when we are tempted and, rather than giving into temptations, that we seek the way out He is offering us. May our prayer, and meditation on this scripture, help us turn away from what our personal temptations are so that when we lay our head down at night, rather than having regrets like I did that night, instead we experience a greater peace within that comes living more aligned with God's Word and Truth, as we choose the way out, rather then give into temptation. 

With love and hope,

Shawn

Do You Ever Overreact?

There was some excitement over here at our home last week as Gavin got his license!  We are so excited for him! Two drivers in two years. It's crazy but a gift to watch our kids grow.

While teaching Gavin to drive this year, and Kate last year, I wasn't only teaching them but I was being refined in the process as well. I loved the time with my kids in the car but to be honest, I didn't love the process of teaching them to drive. There was a sermon I heard last year while teaching Kate and the wisdom was so timely, it became something I meditated on again and again as I drove with her last year, and while driving with Gavin this year. The line from the sermon that struck a chord with me was...

"Over Under React."
- Andy Stanley

I realized through the process of teaching Kate and Gavin to drive is that I at times overreact. It's not absurd to react when you think your head may hit a mailbox...yet mine never did. That was the story in my head, not the reality. And I realized when I felt out of control I allowed the emotions of what might happen lead me rather than the truth of what was actually happening be my guide. Did Kate and Gavin need to be redirected at times? Yes. Yet the way I was reacting needed to be refined, just as their driving did. The reality is that sometimes my reactions stirred up more chaos in the car that could have lead to an accident rather than help avoid one from happening. 

Whether or not you have ever taught someone to drive, have you ever overreacted at times?

What I have learned is that I am quick to react when I feel out of control when my kids are driving. These three words from the sermon were a saving grace - when I practiced them.  To help me put them into practice I would repeat them in my head, and sometimes out loud...

Over Under React.

Over Under React.

Over Under React.

I share this with you today in case you have a student driver and/or you too are someone who can overreact when someone says or does something, or you feel out of control.  I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we choose to over under react. These three words remind me of a wise saying by Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl. He said, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." 

The thing is, we don't always give space between stimulus and response. Instead there is a stimulus and then we react. Let's choose to practice creating space between stimulus and our response to it. And in that space is when we can invite God in to help us give a healthy, productive response, rather than a quick, destructive reaction. So as we walk through this Advent season, when our schedules can be busier, and we may tend to react quickly than respond prayerfully, let's choose to invite God in to help us over under react.  By creating space between stimulus and response, we can grow more prayerful which will keep us closer to God this Christmas season, and help us be the reflection of His love that we are called to be, especially to the kids in our lives. 

With love and hope,

Shawn

What Do We Pass Along?

With Christmas season ahead of us, I know that our lists get longer, and our time and patience at times can grow thinner. Today I wanted to share with you one of my favorite stories that reminds me not to go with the flow of the chaos around me, but to choose to be rooted in God's love and allow that to be what flows from me.

When Matt was in Kindergarten I received a call home from a teacher saying that he, and other classmates, had made poor choices in class that day.

When Matt arrived home that day I told him about the call and asked him what happened.

He replied very matter of factly, “There was a classmate who was angry and he pushed the kid next to him. Then that boy passed the anger to the next kid by stomping on his foot and then that person passed the anger to me. Then it was my turn to pass along the anger.” His response made me pause and repeat in my head what he said…

It was my turn to pass along the anger?

I did not condone Matt’s choices that day and shared with him that yes, anger may come our way, or bubble up within us, yet it doesn't mean we have to pass it on.  This doesn’t mean we become punching bags for others yet we are called to be slow to anger. Anger is not suppose to be our first response. Yet like the line to students showed that day, passing anger can be easy, and seem normal.

And this isn't just true in their class.

When I broaden the lens, passing anger along is something that we do as adults. 

Have we ever had a bad day at work and come home to our family and are short with them?

Have we ever had someone say something to us, and we say something back out of the anger we feel?

Have we ever had something happen to us that made us upset and rather than diffusing the hard emotions, use them as fuel to ‘get back’ at someone?

I think it is in human nature to allow anger to be our fuel. Yet this isn’t God’s plan for us. He calls for us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." (James 1:19)

I am sharing this with you today to invite you to join me to... 

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we remember that we are called to be slow to anger and that what we do with our anger matters. Let’s recognize that our initial reaction most likely is more destructive than productive. When anger comes our way, or we experience it within, instead of passing is along, may we instead create space - and invite God in. Let's do this so that we can sift through the anger and choose wisely what to say or do, or what not to say or do. 

And like I shared with Matt that day, we can’t control what comes our way but we can control our response to it. So as we move into this week, if we find ourselves getting tense, or tensions arising around us, rather than allowing the tensions to be what fuel us, may we pray that God's truth and love is what fuels us, and flows from us, instead.

With love and hope,

Shawn

The Worst Part of An Arguement

For at least a year Gavin has been trying to have Matt watch a movie. He kept telling Matt that he’d love it. It was a historical movie, and Matt loves history, but Matt thought it may be a little much for him. So Matt chose to not watch the movie for over a year.  

Unbeknownst to Matt, Gavin downloaded that movie onto the iPad for a road trip. On our way home, Gavin told Matt that he had that movie on the iPad and asked if he was up for watching it. Matt finally said yes.  

After the movie was over, Matt was saying how much he loved the movie. And then he said something that has stuck with me since, he said,

“the worst part of an argument is when you realize you are wrong.”

The wisdom - and humility - in that statement from our 11 year old hit me hard, as it made me see that I don’t like to always admit when I am wrong. Yet what I was hearing Matt say is that admitting I am wrong would be a humbling, and worthwhile. 

I share this with you today in case you too can find yourself too prideful at times to admit when you are wrong as well. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we be willing to humble ourselves, as Matt did with Gavin, and admit when we are wrong. Yes, it may be uncomfortable at first to do so, yet the long term benefits that can come from that admission, personally and relationally, will make it worth it. 

With love and hope, 

Shawn

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom. - Proverbs 11:2

A Story of Thanks and Giving

A story of thanks and giving…

I met Eden years ago on the sidelines of the baseball field where our boys played ball. Over the years a friendship formed and we started walking together regularly. On our walks, I had the chance to get to know Eden more, and learn more of their family’s story.

Eden has a daughter Abby, who is 8 years old, and she has a rare and severe form of epilepsy called Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome (LGS). People with LGS have multiple types of seizures that vary among individuals. Most people living with LGS experience some degree of impaired intellectual functioning or information processing, along with developmental delays and behavioral disturbances. There is no known cause nor cure for this debilitating syndrome.

As a friend of their family, it has been powerful to watch Eden, her husband, John, and their son care for Abby throughout the years.

On our walks, Eden would share what life is like with a child with LGS. One comment she made one day has stayed with me. She shared, “having a loved one with LGS is like living in a battle zone, the bullets aren’t always flying but you need to be prepared for when they do.”

As we continued to walk and talk, over time I learned how the van they had wasn’t meeting their needs. Eden or John were lifting Abby into the van to buckle her in daily. Doing this all the time wasn’t something they complained about yet was growing more challenging as Abby was getting bigger and stronger. Having a van with a ramp that had more safety features would be a blessing to them.

God put it on my heart one day to ask Eden if she’d be willing to share her story and let people help them get a motorized, handicap accessible van.

She was resistant.

They are a humble, hard-working family and have been so use to doing life all on their own, to ask for help was challenging.

I made sure she knew there was zero pressure but asked her to consider it.

As I waited for her to think about it, doubt grew in me as I honestly wasn’t sure if we’d get the funds and would hate to put this out there and fall short for their family. Yet I’ve learned that when God prompts you to do something, it’s best to follow His lead.

Over time Eden and John eventually agreed to our creating a gofundme to raise funds for the van.

I reached out to family and friends who graciously donated but we were only a tenth of the way towards our goal.  I had also reached out to some connections at various churches locally to see if they could contribute.

One day I unexpectedly received a call from a local care minister who said their church had a connection with a local non-profit, Amy’s Angels, that helped them get a van for someone at their church.  He kindly connected us with the non-profit.

Eden and John met with the people from Amy’s Angels who listened to their story. They didn’t make any promises to Eden and John but after months of the Gofundme staying at the same amount, the meeting brought more hope to our hearts.

Time went by with no word from the non-profit.

Then one day they called Eden and John and said they had raised enough money, coupled with the Gofundme, to get the van for Abby!

The joy we all experienced was palpable! Happy tears flowed!

Then a couple of weeks ago I got a note from Eden saying their van was being delivered the next day! She sent me pictures of their family receiving the van from Amy’s Angels, and it brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Seeing them receive the van for Abby was awesome and a moment definitely worth celebrating!

Yet their story is also a reminder that when we have a need, it may be hard to let people in but we need to. It took a step of faith for Eden and John to stop doing it on their own and be willing to let others know their story and lend a hand their way.

Also, their story reminds me that when we get a prompting within us to do something, even when it doesn’t make sense, when we don’t know what the outcome will be, and we fear failing, we still need to take a step of faith into what God is asking us to do.

I share this good news with you today to invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray. ™

May this story encourage us that God knows our needs and has circles of love around us to lean into to help us. We were not made to do life alone. We need community. May we be willing to take a step of faith and let someone in to help us.

And if we are in someone’s circle of love who we know has a need, may we do what we can to lend a hand their way. And if we get that inner knowing we are to do something that seems impossible, may we also take a step of faith. May we place our trust in God, and remember that He is working at all times in ways we cannot see.  And that His timing is best, even though it is not always aligned with ours.

May our lives be filled and fueled with stories like this; when friends open up, friends and community support one another, needs are met and love is always the common thread in the story.

With joy and gratitude,

Shawn

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me... Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. - Matthew 25:35-40

*names were changed to honor the family’s privacy

The Circles of Gratitude

Last night I was teaching Matt's class at church and we were talking about gratitude with it being the week of Thanksgiving. We encouraged the kids to take a moment to thank God for the gifts in their lives and for who He made them to be. Then we broadened the circle of gratitude by having the kids write a thank you card to someone in their family, sharing something that they appreciate about the person they were writing to. Then, with the limited time we had, we asked them to write a thank you to someone in our church family thanking them for their contribution. Once they were done with their notes, the kids delivered the notes to those who were there, including the custodian who works at the school we hold classes in. Minutes after they delivered the card, the custodian showed up at our classroom. He came in to say to the kids, with a tear in his eye, how thankful he was to receive their note and how he was going to keep it on his desk to look at every day. When he left, there was a brief silence in the room - and for those of you who work with kids understand what a rare moment like that is. The silence spoke volumes to me, that the custodian's words captured their hearts. We asked the class how that moment impacted them and one girl shared, "it didn't take a lot of effort to say thank you but it made his day better and he's keeping the card." And when we asked the class how they felt being thanked by the custodian, they said how it made them feel good.

Expressing our thanks to God, and others, shines light and love into the hearts of the receivers, and the givers. 

So as we move into this week, let's make the time to...

pause. breathe. pray.™ 

Let's practice the same circles of gratitude the kids did last night. Let's take a moment to give thanks to God for the gifts in our lives and for who He made us to be. Then let's take a moment to give a call or write a note to someone in our family who we'd like to thank for who they are or something they've done for us that we appreciate. Then let's think about someone in our church family who we'd like to send a note their way.  Next, let's think about the people beside us day in and day out, like a friend or a co-worker, who we can express gratitude towards. And then let's grow in the habit of seeing the people throughout our day who we can say thank you to, even for the simplest things; like a person holding a door for us, the barista at the coffee shop, the cashier at the store, etc. When we posture our heart with gratitude, we are aligning ourselves with God, and who He made us to be. Unspoken gratitude is like having a gift for someone that we never give them to open. Gratitude shared can make a difference in our hearts and minds, and in the hearts and minds of those receiving it, like it did for the custodian last night. So let's be a part of the difference we want to see in the world, and be vessels of love and gratitude, as we are called to be today, and every day.

Happy Thanksgiving friend! I hope you have a blessed week and your eyes and ears are open to all you have to be thankful to God for.

With love and hope,

Shawn
 

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15

Harvest Love

Yesterday was the birthday of a dear friend, Val, who passed away this spring after a three year battle with cancer. Val and I met when my middle child and her youngest were in pre-school together. They are now in their junior year of High School.  

Val was a light in many people’s lives, including mine. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2017, she showed up at my door with a Sunshine Box filled with encouraging words from her Girl Scout Troop. Val was just that, a ray of sunshine, from her smile and sweet, calming voice to her selfless acts of love; she scattered sunshine and love into hearts all around town.

Val and I were more acquaintances through the years until she reached out and shared her diagnosis with me. We went on a walk together where she opened up and let me in behind the surface of what she was going through. At the end of our walk we prayed together, and we came to see that our faith in God united us. From that walk on, our faith in God was the foundation of our friendship. Prayer was the core of our conversations. Val’s faith was rich and deep, and her love for God, her husband and two children, were  the strength behind her warrior’s heart.

Val’s battle was long and challenging, yet she continued to shine the light of love to everyone who was beside her, from her family and friends to the doctors and nurses who cared for her. Val’s love reflected the heart of Jesus, as she was more focused on those who were beside her than on herself.  She didn’t allow her circumstances to dictate her wellness, she chose to live well, and live out love, in spite of her circumstances.

The last time I visited with Val she was sleeping. Rather than trying to wake her, I sat on the side of the bed beside her and prayed over her and her family. When I left, I held her hand and whispered in her ear, “God bless you, Val. May His peace be with you.”  Unexpectedly Val whispered something back to me. Although I couldn’t make it out, knowing her she was saying, “and with you too.”

Val was a selfless soul who found life in Jesus, and in loving others.  Her joy was evident in her radiant smile and shining blue eyes. Having to see Val have to go to heaven to heal is hard to accept. Yet in her passing, I saw something beautiful, all the love she shared became visible as the church couldn’t hold all the people who came to celebrate her life. When I looked around at all the people who came to honor Val’s life, I saw that Val’s life, and love, made a positive impact in so many lives. She scattered seeds of love, and that love grew in other people’s hearts. Val planted gardens of love in our community, and love will continue to grow and be harvest here because she chose to live a life grounded in God’s love.

Witnessing the love Val shared become visible was powerful and made me see it isn’t what we get in life that matters, but what we give. And the greatest gift we can give is love, which can grow in the hearts of others.

I invite you to join me today to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May Val’s life inspire us to use our time, energy and resources, as she did, to plants seeds of love into the hearts of others through our words and our actions. So when our time comes to meet our maker, instead of harvesting a lot of things in this life, instead may the harvest we leave behind for others to gather be from the seeds of God’s love we have scattered into the hearts of others each day, just as Val did.

With love and hope,

Shawn

This was approved by Val’s family for me to share, and can be found in the 2023 Autumn Issue of Our Story Magazine HERE.

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;
therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
- Matthew 9:37-38 ESV

Thank you, Veterans

To all who have served our country, 

Thank you for your selfless service.


With love and hope,
Shawn

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. - John 15:13

The Gift of Time

Yesterday was my birthday and the kids had off. They asked me what I wanted to do and gave me the gift of their time, all-day-long. Time together was truly such a blessing as Kate heads off to college next year and I see how these moments of the five of us being together will happen, but less often.

I share this with you today as a reminder that we can think we need to give someone some”thing,” when time is really the only gift we need to give.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

Who is someone we can give the gift of our time to today? Let’s choose to give the gift of time, it costs nothing yet is worth everything…especially to my mama’s heart these days.

With love and hope,
Shawn

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. -Psalm 90:12

Prayerful Decisions

Gavin received his driver’s permit a while back and  we have been driving around together often to get his hours in to get his license. The other day there was a person on our tail and I found myself saying to him, “don’t allow the people around you to determine your choices for you.”  

After saying that, I realized that truth wasn’t just for Gavin, but that I could practice that truth myself. And that what I said wasn’t just applicable to driving but this truth can be applied in many areas of our lives.

I share this with you today in case you too at times find you allow the influence of others around you to determine your choices.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we remember that in life there are so many voices calling for our attention to influence us, in person and online. Words can feel like the person driving behind Gavin, pressuring us to make choices. We don't have to do much to hear others because it's around every corner we turn. Yet messages that align with God aren't as prevalent in our lives. Instead, we have to be intentional and directional to get to know God, and His word, so that we can better know His voice when we are making decisions.

As we move into this week, let's take time with God and pray over any choices we have to make. May we ask God to give us insight and wisdom so that we have a calm confidence when making the choices.

Will we always know that the choices we make are fully aligned with God's will? No, we won't because we aren't God. Yet by at least by making the choice to invite God in to be the greatest influence in our lives, we are not practicing living from the outside in, but instead living from the inside out, which will help renew our minds, grow peace in our hearts, and wellness in our souls...even when someone is tailing us.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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